3 Ways To Find Your Tribe: Overcoming Loneliness During Menopause
Estimated Reading Time: 3.5 minutes
The menopause transition can be incredibly isolating for so many women. It’s no wonder - as our bodies go through major hormonal changes, we are also dealing with symptoms like mood swings, sleep issues and mental health concerns. The emotional impact of this life stage can leave you feeling alone, misunderstood, and disconnected.
The key to making the journey easier is finding your tribe - a supportive community that can relate to what you're experiencing and provide encouragement when you need it most. In this article, we'll explore practical strategies for overcoming feelings of isolation during menopause and building a strong support system to help you thrive during this transitional period.
The Power of Connection and Community
That was until everything started to change as my menopause transition gained traction!
Human connection is vital for our well-being and longevity. Connection is about nurturing a positive relationship with yourself and building supportive bonds with others.
We tend to connect deeply with people who share similar values, goals, and experiences, but during challenging times like menopause, women may withdraw from their social circles, feeling lonely and isolated. This withdrawal can happen for various reasons, such as:
Emotional fragility
Lack of energy or patience
Low self-confidence
Feeling judged or misunderstood
Perceived lack of empathy from others
Others have different experiences of menopause
Negative commentary or complaints from others
However, research shows that socially connected individuals have better physical and mental health. Sharing experiences with others helps us realise we're not alone, learn coping strategies, and feel less isolated during this transitional phase.
The "Blue Zones" – areas with the highest concentration of centenarians – highlight social connection as one of four essential pillars of a long and healthy life. This pillar includes:
Belonging (faith-based community)
Loved ones first (prioritizing family)
Right tribe (choosing supportive social circles)
Here are three ways to build better connections with yourself and others during menopause.
Everyone is different - this could be walking on the beach, taking a bath, reading a book, meditating, getting into the garden or pursuing a hobby. Anything that engages your body and mind in a calming way.
Practice Self-Care and Self-Compassion
Ultimately, the most important relationship you need to nurture is the one you have with yourself. It’s easy to beat yourself up, feel guilty or feel bad about yourself, and it’s more challenging to speak kindly and positively to yourself, especially when your life is in an upheaval.
That’s where self-care and self-compassion can help.
Self-care is creating time each week for self-care activities and practices that bring you joy, relaxation, and a sense of inner peace. Everyone is different - this could be walking on the beach, taking a bath, reading a book, meditating, getting into the garden or pursuing a hobby. Anything that engages your body and mind in a calming way.
Self-compassion is a process to help you stop judging and evaluating yourself. It is a tool for building emotional resilience, so you can cope with the good and bad in life more easily. According to leading self-compassion researcher Dr Kristen Neff (who has some great free resources), the three elements of self-compassion include:
Being kind to yourself (instead of judgemental) - reframing your self talk.
Common humanity (instead of isolation) - reflect that others feel this way too.
Mindfulness (instead of overthinking) - step outside yourself and notice your thoughts and feelings as if you were a third person. This can be helpful for women with anxiety.
Self-care and self-compassion include important practices to gain emotional balance, to build resilience, calmness, acceptance and peace and to overcome feelings of isolation during a very transformative phase of life.
2. Seek Out Local Support Groups
Hearing from women who have already navigated menopause can be incredibly reassuring and empowering.
One of the most powerful ways to combat loneliness is to connect with others who are in a similar stage of life. These days, there are a lot of menopause support groups available both online and in local areas which can provide a safe space to share your experiences, learn from others, and gain valuable coping strategies.
Hearing from women who have already navigated menopause can be incredibly reassuring and empowering.
To find the right community for you, make sure that the community is legitimate, warm and welcoming. You’ll know that you’ve found the right community for you if you feel ‘heard’ and respected. The members would likely be good listeners, present and empathetic, rather than claiming to have all the answers.
A great example is the Let’s Talk Community, hosted by Own Your Health Collective.
3. Strengthen Existing Relationships
While it's important to seek out new connections, you can also explore the power of your existing relationships.
You probably already know within your inner circle of close friends and family members who you can trust to support you and listen to you, and empathise with what you're going through.
When you find those right people, it can help to share your struggles and also celebrate your victories. Allowing loved ones to be part of your journey can deepen your existing relationships and provide you with valuable support.
As an example, I have started spending more time with a small group of like minded women who are similar to me in personality and experience. By spending more time together, we all feel a bit more normal. We feel inspired, and we are exploring our own renewed senses of purpose and identity moving into the next phase of our lives.
Summary
While the menopause transition can be difficult and can lead to isolation, there are some practical strategies you can use to support yourself and feel supported, more confident and hopeful in this powerful transitional stage of life.
References
Altini, Dr.L. (2024) My journey with mindfulness: Navigating menopause with MBCT, Sage Womens Health. Available at: https://www.sagewomenshealth.com/menopause/anxiety-and-stress/menopause-mindfulness-mbct-anxiety (Accessed: 29 May 2024).
Kotifani, A. (2024) Power 9®, Blue Zones. Available at: https://www.bluezones.com/2016/11/power-9/ (Accessed: 29 May 2024).
Kube, A. (2023) 4 mindfulness practices for menopausal women struggling with anxiety, Sage Womens Health. Available at: https://www.sagewomenshealth.com/menopause/anxiety-and-stress/4-mindfulness-practices-menopause (Accessed: 29 May 2024).
Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff (2024) Self. Available at: https://self-compassion.org/ (Accessed: 29 May 2024).
Let’s talk - community for women (2024) Own Your Health Collective. Available at: https://ownyourhealthco.com.au/letstalk/ (Accessed: 29 May 2024).
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